Never has a film tagline been so apt as Highlander's, "There can be only one." Although I am not referring to Christopher Lambert and battling immortal swordsmen, oh no. What I am referring to cannot be resolved by chopping someones head clean off, but can result in the foodie equivalent of the quickening. Thats right I am talking about the eternal christmas battle of the high street festive sandwich.
This fight is duked out by the big boys at this time every year and I am here to announce the winner with as few decapitations as possible...
The perfect christmas sandwich must be large, no messing about I want a good heft and to achieve this there must be multiple fillings. A combination of, or all of the following... Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pork product (bacon / sausage). Most importantly every bite should taste like christmas.
So the main contenders are... EAT, COOP, M&S, Starbucks, Tesco Finest and Waitrose.
First up is CO-OP, I felt a bit sorry for this pale, limp and basically stingy Xmas sarnie.
Next Starbucks, the only warm entry in this years top 5 and thats really all it has going for it. Light on filling, heavy on bread.
The EAT sandwich promised so much, it was visually everything you'd want. Which made it all the more disappointing when I tasted how bland it was.
Waitrose offer up the whole array of fillings and even chuck in some superfluous spinach, very posh but still not quite the flavour explosion i'm looking for.
Tesco Finest weighs in as the heaviest of the challengers, not only does it have turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing and mayo, but it has double pork... sausage and bacon. The maple sweet cured bacon was a bit anaemic, but over all it was pretty flavourful.
Last and by no means least the winner... The M&S Turkey Feast, this heavy set beauty is crammed full of tasty turkey, bacon, stuffing and finish with sweet cranberry sauce that stops the whole thing being dry. Oh its a mouthful of christmas cheer and no mistake and it is the runaway champ of the high street festive sandwich 2012 competition. The award ceremony will take place on the 20th of December at the Excel Arena, see you there.
PS. Despite what my mate Jimbo might tell you Christopher Lambert is not Scottish. He is in fact the son of a US diplomat and his formative years were spent in Geneva, not the Highlands.
It might not be as iconic or even as cool New York City, it has to compete with the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, countless movies and The Avengers. But Chicago has the Sears Tower, Lake Michigan, Al Capone and is Gotham for crying out loud. The USA's second city is wicked and vying with NYC as my favourite place in the USA.
We arrived on a Sunday afternoon as the sun was setting, my hotel room overlooked Lake Michigan and I had one thing on my mind... FOOD.
Over the week we were there filming we had some great grub, but the one that stands out in my mind isn't a posh, gourmet meal, its quite the opposite!
The Billy Goat made famous by a Saturday Night Live sketch and for being a boozy hang out in the 1920s for heavy hitting journalists, can be found in a dingy underpass where you'd expect to find trolls not billy goats.
Not famous for their hospitality, the front door doesn't really look like a front door and there is a sign that says enter at your own risk! Once inside you can forget the American welcome of big smiles and a friendly host, you grab a seat anywhere thats free and contemplate the menu. That takes about 5 seconds, just as John Belushi screamed in the SNL skit, you have the choice of a CHEEZBORGER! Or a DOUBLE CHEEZBORGER! Dont even think of ordering fries, they dont have those and if like me you dont like cheese, you will be looked at like you are a crazy person complicating things.
The burger was great, it's served with a shout and left for you to collect from the counter. Then you build it (sauces, relish, tomatoes etc) on your way back to your table. We ate, lit by unforgiving neon lights surrounded by workers straight off the building site, pictures of famous Chicagoans and baseball on the tv. The Billy Goat is kind of like a British greasy spoon, but with beer.
I have to say I loved it, despite all evidence to the contrary, I guess the fact that the Billy Goat just doesn't care what you think and carries on regardless I couldn't help but admire.
Slightly posher was the Grand Lux Cafe, well just the fact it is above ground trumps the Billy Goat before you see its high ceilings, elaborate lighting and its grand art deco design. It was described to me as a tourist trap, but I think that does it a diservice.
The menu was huge, and international, I went for the fried chicken. It was as perfectly golden as a californian sunset, as tender as a freshly spanked bum and juicier than a News of the World headline.
I have to say it was great, massive though, they basically deep fried an entire chicken. Oh and I tried fried gherkins which surprisingly were ace.
On my final day in Chicago just before we flew out I stumbled on a little place called Downtown Dog just in time for lunch. The place was wallpapered in photos of dogs and packed, a city tour guide had stopped by with his group to get them all fed, a good sign if ever I've seen one.
Copying the locals, I ordered... "One Downtown Dog please and take it for a walk" this was a big meaty sausage with EVERYTHING on it, relish, multiple sauces, a pickled chilli and more. This I have to say trumps the NYC hotdogs I've munched in the past, so chalk that one up to Chicago.
Other honorable mentions go to Niu Sushi - amazing calimari. Heaven on 7 - cajun food with an artists palet of hot sauces. Q - a very plush, very cool BBQ joint. I'd recommend the Q2 with the sweet and spicy BBQ sauce.
